<center>(text-color:"#b363eb")[''"The story of a great [[bard]]..."'']<center><h1>On Orpheus</h1>
The greatest musician Greece ever knew was named [[Orpheus]].<center>Oh, where to start with Orpheus?
His father was some unimporant king, while his mother was the muse Calliope. Of course, this meant that Orpheus was destined to be a great poet from the start -- but that destiny became even more apparent when one day the musical god Apollo visited the muse Th--
...Erm. When Apollo visited one of Calliope's sisters.
And Apollo was impressed by the young Orpheus and gave him a golden lyre, and taught him to play. And his mother taught him to sing, and he prospered into a great bard.
He was even an Argonaut! Once upon the sea, sailing with Jason and all those other Argonauts, the Argonauts came across the sirens, beings who lived in the sea and whose voices were so bewitching they drew sailors to their deaths.
But when Orpheus heard the siren song, he took hold of his golden lyre and sung a song so beautiful it drowned out the siren song, and the Argonauts sailed past uncontested.
And eventually, he married [[Eurydice]].Orpheus married Eurydice, and, like, a week later(?) she died.
How? Well, it reads here that she was bitten by a viper and died instantly. A tragic occurrence for many of the Greeks back then.
Orpheus came upon her body and, overcome by grief, he did what he does best: he sang. He sang such a mournful and sad song that it depressed everyone who heard it, including the gods, so Apollo came down and said, (text-color:"#decf2a")[''"Hey, man. That stuff you're singing? Super miserable. Consider stopping?"'']
"My wife is dead," Orpheus sobbed, but, like, as a song.
(text-color:"#decf2a")[''"...Sucks. But, consider -- what if she could be alive again? I got you, man."'']
Orpheus stopped his tragic song and looked upon Apollo with hope.
(text-color:"#decf2a")[''"So here's what you gotta do. First you have to head into the [[Underworld]]..."'']Orpheus concluded his song. He gazed up at them hopefully.
He'd charmed his way into the Underworld, charmed his way past Charon, the ferryman, charmed his way past Cerberus, the watchdog, and charmed his way into an audience with the god of the dead, Hades himself, as well as his wife Persephone. All so that he could charm them with a song.
(text-color:"#2c8fe6")[''"That... I will admit, that was beautiful. You have swayed me, mortal. You may take Eurydice's soul out of the afterlife."'']
Orpheus gasped.
(text-color:"#2c8fe6")[''"//But!// You have not swayed me //entirely!// This journey has a condition -- she will have to walk behind you the entire journey, and if you look back at her at any point before the two of you have left the realm of the dead, she will be trapped here forever."'']
Orpheus gasped, again, for a slightly different reason. But Orpheus was determined, and he was patient, and so he nodded.
(text-color:"#2c8fe6")[''"Okay, grand. She is behind you now. Go on and get out of here, champ."'']
Orpheus [[set off]].Orpheus traveled back up through the Underworld, retracing the path he'd taken to enter. He heard not a single sound from behind him, not a whisper of breath or the sound of a footstep, but he soldiered on, confident in the belief that Hades would not cheat him.
So he climbed and he climbed and he climbed (and he sang a little bit, too...)
And Orpheus crossed out of the Underworld and back to the living realm, and he turned to greet his wife,
and he looked back just in time to see her fade and disperse back into the Underworld -- because while //he// had crossed the threshold out of the Underworld, //she// was just one final step still within.
Thus, Orpheus had failed in his journey to save his wife.
And Orpheus wandered the land, singing a lament and spurning the gods (besides Apollo), until he was eventually set upon and torn limb-from-limb by a pack of [[Maenads]]."I, uh... I don't really get this one."
(text-color:"#b363eb")[''"Oh? Please, Comus, what don't you get?"'']
"It just... it feels like we're not really relevant for most of the story, and then the unambiguous bad guys for the end?"
(text-color:"#b363eb")[''"Well, Orpheus was an acolyte of Dionysus early in his life, but he rejected him in favor of being mad his wife died. And also Apollo. So really it was justified.''"]
//"Well, you didn't establish that at any point in the actual story..."//
"Yeah! And I mean, I don't know if that's still a justification to like, kill a dude?"
(text-color:"#b363eb")[''"...Goodness. Honestly, I'm not even going to address that one."'']
"Oh--"
(text-color:"#b363eb")[''"Look, Comus -- let's make it clear. You're going to have to toughen up if you want to be one of the Thiasus. Now, let's talk about the most important story of today..."'']